vanilla

work is like eating warm vanilla ice cream
it's not appealing
it's not novel
you don't want it

"E Seader" (9:00:45 AM): you are disappointing

move

so we're thinking about moving for lots of reasons. the landlord is miserable. having a studio is sort of annoying. the L is always having personal problems. etc. etc.
but you know, i think i'd be sad to go. the apartment's really pretty. i dunno. it'd be easier if someone just told you what to do and then you could blame them if it's the wrong decision. then again i can always blame moses. he's being very antisocial lately. maybe he's going through menopause. he has been having heat flashes.

group

i really find my columbia group irksome. we have to write all these joint papers and they send them to me and they're always so 4th grade. for starters, everyone puts two spaces after a period. didn't this go out of fashion with typewriters? am i the only person who realizes this' an arcane, outmoded practice. it honestly just pisses me off. i was sort of nasty about it in my email this morning but what the fuck. i cannot be the only one aware of the sentence-space rule and i cannot continue to correct everyone's errors. it's basic.
as for the actual semantics of their prose, rudimentary is the kindest word i can use. they all start the same way. all the verbs are passive. they only use a simple sentence structure. this' just more than i can take. i'm basically going to have to rewrite the entire 50pp tome we're putting together. and you know i recognize that some of my comments weren't very nice in the email i sent this morning but it's just infuriating. this' a graduate level course; the students should be able to write at least one intelligent paragraph.
the best sentence in today's draft was, "the company needs to give them more intrinsic rewards." comment: you can't give intrinsic benefits.

seven

so i'm on my way home this afternoon standing against the door on the L--i find the door-seat divider position to be optimal. it's the one of the only ways to fend off contact with others as it assures you privacy on two sides, leaving you only two to defend.
anyway so i'm minding my business on the train listening to chris isaak, i think he's wonderful, when i start looking around at people and notice a teenager's, what an unfortunate age group, skin travesty. there's this d bag wearing an abercrombie hat with a frightening mole below his jaw.
who wears an abercrombie hat? who wears abercrombie? i admit they were ok back in the 90s and i even own a pair of their sleepy pants that i bought in the 90s. (it's worth mentioning that even in their heyday i did not procure logo ridden pajama bottoms b/c, let's be honest, those were never in style). this hopeless kid is wearing a newly minted "fitch" hat creased just so. it really hurts me that he thinks this' chic and sends the desired aesthetic message about his person. i wanted to tell him that this is most definitely not the message to send but thought better of it.
as if the hat is not insulting enough, the boy had a mole the size of my pinky nail with lots of hairs growing underneath his jaw. i suppose this location saves it from the razor's path, which apparently isn't frequently run as his scraggly, pubic-hair beard would indicate.
this mole had seven hairs growing out of it. seven. more than a parody of a teacher w/ a huge mole on her face. more than uncle buck's niece's principal had on her chin. seven. it's obscene. they were all of differing length, too, with the longest hair around a centimeter. totally the most revolting thing ever. why would he not pluck it?! why would he think that's acceptable to have? he must see it in the mirror. it was so gross and he totally caught me gaping as he moved away from me and shot me fuck-off eyes.
he can hate me all he wants. it won't make up for the fact that his mole has seven hairs growing out of it.

mucus

i think someone should really rethink nose blowing etiquette. i firmly support the no-nose-blowing-when-dining rule. it's repulsive to expel mucus out of your nasal passages over lobster bisque. why then is not considered distasteful to do so in the work place?
my mucus-laden colleague is a lovely guy. in all other respects he's consummately thoughtful and respectful. the consistent nose blowing though has to stop. if it were a demure activity, that would be one thing. if he seemed shamed by the process, i would be more able to forgive. but this incessant activity is shameless. it's an impassioned, full force effort. i don't even think it's crossed his mind that this borders on noise polution. the preliminary blow followed by a forceful nasal sound is really becoming too much for me to bear.
this must somehow be an hr violation like my other colleague who has a weekly nail trim at his desk. yesterday he asked his desk mate to lend him her scissors; he then proceeded to trim his nails on their shared space before scooping them into his trash bin. she had to excuse herself so she wouldn't gag.

moses

glasses

pulled my glass case out of my bag this morning, alas my frames were not inside. this has never happened to me before. i pride myself on being anal and avoiding embarrassing mishaps like this.
maybe moses took them.

berry

i walked up berry last night to get dev after her bowling game. i guess i've never wandered around there so late at night b/c i was surprised at how vacant it was. this gunmetal car came flying down the road and i had the fleeting fear that if they wanted to abduct me they could do so easily. perhaps it's not normal to be so paranoid.

rachel yamagata

i really like rachel yamagata. i used to listen to her stuff every day after i heard her on 'the oc'--i don't care if that's an embarrassing admission. her self-indulgence is irksome but then again everyone's is,.
her music reminds me of those reality shows when ppl go 'i've had such a hard life' or 'i've overcome so much,' my personal favorite. it's such bullshit. ppl can be so dramatic. it's hubris to think you're the only one who has problems.
moses' playing on the herringbone stool i just bought. he's tearing the crap out of it. should have known better--the felt ottoman fell prey to the same fate. before the stool, he was molesting this fake rat thing. it must've been a present from my mom. i don't remember seeing it b/f and i was getting all paranoid it was a real rat. clearly i didn't think that whole possibility through enough but whatever i'm fearful.
i was on the L tonight standing next to this guy w/ the most repulsive looking moles on the back of his neck. they looked like black mushroom clouds. i was staring at them and his friends kept catching me but i honestly couldn't help myself. i just kept wondering if he knew about them. at the very least his friends must know. they should be fired for not sending him to the dermatologist immediately to get those removed.
maybe that's mean of me. honesty's mean usually.
i used to have this friend i'd always say brutally honest things about other people to and she'd say sthg to the effect of oh you're so irreverent or that's so awful, all the while w/ a big smile on her face. i'd always say but it's only you i'm saying this to. after our bloody friend breakup, i used to wish i hadn't told her, i hadn't said it's only you all the time.

ram

moses doesn't know but this' going to be his brother, ram

salad wrap

i got a salad wrap for lunch today. i was really going out on a limb, moving away from my grilled chicken and hot sauce pressed wrap. unfortunately, the salad wrap failed to live up to the hype. in my naivety, i thought they would use all the lettuce; once i realized they weren't going to do that, it became clear this wasn't a salad wrap but a glorified extra lettuce wrap. they shouldn't even sell it b/c it's neither novel nor good. i should have known better than to trust the recommendation of my coworker who wears little tiny belts every day around her expanding waistline.

pancakes

filled pancakes aren't appealing. the notion goes entirely against the pancake aesthetic.
why gild the lilly. pancakes are the perfect food. dev makes these tiny ones every saturday and they're really fantastic. they're easily my favorite food. they're like the reification of simple.
it offends me that ppl would want to pervert that simplicity by putting shit inside them. it's wrong.

8:43

i was standing so close to the woman on the L today that her hair kept hitting me in the face. what if, god forbid, she has lice? i'd never thought about it, which i find sort of shocking and disappointing. i wonder how many ppl get lice from standing in close proximity on the train every day. maybe i should start wearing a hat. but then lice would just be sitting on my hat. this is reason to move.